Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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