she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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