I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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