I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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