I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
