I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
