he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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