He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
COCAINE IS GR8
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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