My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
