omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize