i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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