dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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