is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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