Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
