There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
zippers are such a cool invention
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
