I'm lost and stupid without you.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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