My Higher Power is John Stamos
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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