Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
