fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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