theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
