quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize