I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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