That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
