Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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