I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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