As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize