At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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