I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
