I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
