just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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