I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
