Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm bleeding and have questions
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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