I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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