just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize