i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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