I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
