Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
