it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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