He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
