I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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