We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
