sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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