after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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