found the other keg... it's in the tree
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
