Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
