Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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