Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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