The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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