OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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