She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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