I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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