Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize