I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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