I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize