They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
