if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
