Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
