so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize