I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
