So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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