Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize