He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Fuck appropriateness.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
