do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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