i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
