Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Girls should come with a carfax report
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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