Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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