guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
