cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
