Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
