Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize