I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
